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Jarjar
Human
Jedi
Jedi Master < 5 or 6 stormtroopers
General Grevious
ObiOne > Darth Maul
Dooku
Anakin
Anybody On High Ground

This is the classification of the guys in Star Wars based on the prequel and the Clone Wars anime. A human is beaten by a Jedi who is inferior to a master Jedi. All normal. Clone Wars show us General Grievous destroying Jedis easily. Even masters. He totally rocks.
But episode 3 change much. First, Grievous is really easily beaten by Obiwan. So Grievous is lame. So Jedi masters are super-lame. This is also proved when we see them being taken by some stormtroopers like beginners.
Then we have Dooku. He knock outs Obiwan like nothing. After all we know he is better than Grievous. But then Anakin wipes the floor with him! No one can possibly beat Anakin, then?
Which gets us to the final revelation: the ultimate move to make cry littl'Vader: the High Ground special card!




Voici la classification des gars dans Star Wars, basé sur la prequel et l'animé Clone Wars. Un humain est donc battu par un Jedi qui est lui-même inférieur à un Maître Jedi. Normal.
Clone Wars nous présente le Général Grievous qui explose des Jedis facilement. Même les Maître Jedi. Il est super balèze.
Mais l'épisode 3 change tout. Déjà, Grievous est battu très facilement par Obiwan. Donc Grievous pue. Donc les Maître Jedi puent total. Ce qui est par ailleurs prouvé lorsqu'on les voit se faire tuer par une poignée de stormtroopers comme des newbies.
Ensuite on a Dooku. Il assomme Obiwan comme un rien. Après tout on le sait plus fort que Grievous. Mais ensuite Anakin lui déchire sa mère ! Personne ne pourrait donc battre Anakin alors?
Ce qui nous amène à la révélation finale, la technique ultime pour faire pleurer sa race au p'tit Vador: la carte secrète de se placer en hauteur !!

New in the storyline? Get to the beginning of "Underground guys"
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2006-02-09 02:04:04

* Salagir

The Great Harry Potter Revelation!

WARNING! This comment contains spoilers about the 6th Harry Potter. You've been warned. If you didn't read it, don't read that.

I have to let it out. My site isn't that much read so if everybody knows, I'll know the informations leaked from one of you. As Coluche said, I have your names.
So I will tell you about Harry Potter Book 7 today.
The fact is, I was thinking about a theory with a friend and soon as we talked we understood that we were absolutely right: this couldn't be different. To be sure, I asked JK Rowling. I have her mail since she mailed me about Geek's World site, and we talked many times about scenarios developements. I don't think I helped much, but thank me for the non-appearance of the brother-ogre in vol. 6 ;)

Anyway, she told me more and I can now reveal you all what it is about, so SPOILER WARNING, this is all the plot of vol 7 here.

So the main issue was: how come Dumbledore is so stupid, makes so unwise decisions, and still is very respected? I mean each time something bad happens, it's his fault. He sends Harry to live the worst life, with the baddest reason ever; he ask to trust untrustfull people, and consequences happens. Plus, he is supposed to rocks at magic, but never showed anything spectacular.
Well, here is the answer. First, in Dumbledore there is "Dumb". The fact id, Dumbledore is not a good guy. He is stupid and manipulated all his reputation.
Dumbledore used dark evil magic to take credit for other's actions, killing them afterwards. All went well until Voldemort, a young researcher studiing dark arts, found out that Dumbledore was actually using them. So Dumbledore accused him of all his crimes. As he was respected and Voldemort was ugly (he fell from a swing when he was young) and had a bad reputation for studiing dark arts and changing his name for something cooler (as did Herge, The Rock, and Salagir), everybody trusted Dumbledore and hunted Voldemort.
In a long quest to prove his innocence, Voldemort finished trapped in the Potter's house. The story of the saga is all about Voldemort trying to free himself from the trap and Dumbledore making (bad) actions to stop him form doing so. Now he is dead, Voldemort can tell the truth in vol 7.
Voldemort is in fact a very nice guy. In vol 7 you will see him feeding babies, doing charity work, raising funds to save dolphins... Voldy, as he like to be called, has a heart of gold. He will gladly forgive Harry who was manipulated by the only dumber guy than him on the planet: Albus Dumbledore.
Voldemort will become the next teacher of defence against dark arts, and will stay so for 20 years. Pupils will love him as he is so much fun and always in good spirit.
Dumbledore's body will be unburied and eaten by ravens. People will come from all the world to spit on him.
As Hagrid will say: " 'lways knew th'guy was a rotten fucka' ".
 

Readers comments:

2006-02-15 00:07:47

Cowcow

Donc en clair Obi One est le père d'Anakin, c'est ça hein, j'suis trop fort !!
J'ai gagné quoi ?
2006-02-15 00:08:13

Laxigue

preums
2006-02-15 00:08:36

Laxigue

NON FUCK :D lol bravo second alors :)
2006-02-15 00:30:59

Ylisia

Cowcow > mais non c'est dark vador le pere de yansolo qui est le cousin par alliance de la bele soeur de l'oncle par filiation interposé via le cortex B+² du fils de la grand mere de jarjar qui est le beau frere de ma soeur ce qui prouve que JE suis dark vador

ce qui nous amene a conclure que : les 3 "news" episode c'est de la merde .
2006-02-15 01:40:04

DaSayan

J'ai pas compris ce qu'il veut dire par se placer en hauteur :-/
C'est une référence à la fin du Star Wars 3 ? ( j'évite un beau spoiler là )

Salagir's answer:

Oui
2006-02-15 02:06:38

Cowcow

Ylisia > Tu as oublié que que les petits Jawas sont des Eewoks avec des manteaux, et donc que sur Tatooine les blondes sont intelligentes...et ainsi, cela prouve que tu n'es pas Dark Vador mais que tu serais plutot Ray (de GW bien sûr ^^)...Mais aussi comme les pets puent, alors tu es toi o_O

Tout ça pour ça ?? oh la vache :p
2006-02-15 07:29:36

Ylisia

Owned :'(
2006-02-15 11:08:09

Cowcow

^^

Ah et puis au fait...J'adeur ce strip il m'a fait bien délirer !
2006-02-15 11:52:05

Khanard

Se baser sur Clone Wars, c'est déjà la meilleur vanne de Geek's World je pense. Windu déchire une centaine de Super Droide de Combats alors qu'il a du mal à s'en faire 5 ou 6 dans l'épisode II. Bref, vive les contre sens.

Sinon, j'adooooooore ce strip :)
2006-02-15 14:18:22

AlLoCuRa

õ_o;;;
2006-02-15 16:27:15

Meow

Ce n'est pas nouveau, il suffit de savoir jouer à Chat Perché.
2006-02-15 18:21:14

Qwerty

Ca serait pas "Luc qui marche dans le Ciel" qui l'a tué? Il est donc en hauteur...

T'ain, j'ai mon neurone qui va griller....
2006-02-15 21:07:58

Pedrolane

Pfff, n'imp, Luc, il coursleciel, c'est écrit %)
2006-02-15 21:09:38

13Kill

Star Wars ça pue c'est pas libre ....
2006-02-16 01:13:57

Tiga

First of all it would take 50 stormtroopers AT LEAST to equal a jedi master. Playing the games, just having your lightsaber out, using force push on rockects, and you are invincible against the idiots.

And general might not be lame, but Obi-wan powerful, keeping general topside, but obi would be better. So it would be general - obi - dooku.

And yes anakin / darth vader is almost all powerful one below (I forget his name but he wears the cloak and is darth maul and darth vader's dark master). Who dies by the element of suprise.

Good guy's arn't always the most powerfull but the evil guys tend to squabble and kill each other anyway.

Salagir's answer:

Tell that to the ep3 guys. The short scene where some jedi are killed show a big amount of lameness. It's custody in the prequel but... well.
Darth Sidious BTW. And Anakin inferior to him? By his choosen one status isn't he insanely stronger than any? He is young and so then inferious to Palpatine on many points, but I think jedi trained, he'd be number one when old.
2006-02-16 10:18:53

Shibs

Holy shit, that Harry Potter newspost BLOWS my MIND. It makes so much sense! I'm gonna re-read the series now.
2006-02-16 13:22:37

Laxigue

Le plus fort c'est Yoda de toute facon y'a pas a chier le reste c'est des merdes
2006-02-16 17:34:33

Cowcow

Yoda ? C'est une petite crotte de nez lui
2006-03-14 19:06:48

Clee-Saan

N'empeche que personne a répondu a la question de DaSayan la ! Je veux savoir aussi !

Salagir's answer:

Ben si, moi ^^l
2007-05-08 23:49:50

Geof

le probleme est interressant...
car en realite l'Empereur/Sidius bat Luke qui bat Vador/Anakin, qui lui meme bat l'Empereur !!!
tout cela justifie une analyse bien plus approfondie.
2011-05-03 11:31:56

Shadow

Pour ceux qui n'ont pas bien vu l'anime clone wars de 2003, quand Grievous enlève le chancelier/seigneur sith Palpatine, avant de renter dans sont vaisseau, Mace Windu le compresse avec la force, Grievous est bléssé et s'est pour ça que Obi Wan le défonce la geule, lui nique ça race, l'explose, le désintègre. A votre avis, pourquoi que Grievous arrête pas de toussé hein?

Donc, avant l'épisode 3, Obi Wan se serait fait niqué!!!
2011-05-03 11:37:02

Shadow

Mais bien sur le clone wars de 2008 est bourré d'incohérence avec l'anime de 2003 et l'épisode 3, mais on s'en fiche car les bastons sont bien faites ^^

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